Misha

Not feeling well

As I sit on the floor in the kitchen with Misha in the wee hours of the morning, several things occur to me.  One of which is, that pain medication will only be effective if I can get her to take it.  Another is that the concept of a euthanasia at home only works if it's planned.  Also, as far as I know the services of a veterinary social worker are strictly conducted within the veterinary hospital, so perhaps the concept of animal home hospice is a bit far off.

We've been through a few rough days, today being one of the worse.  Several days ago we started a medication for her laryngeal paralysis; initially the pharmacy gave us the wrong medication, instead of doxepin we received doxycycline monohydrate.  Luckily, it was just an antibiotic and nothing that could kill her as she received a few doses. 




I was optimistic with her first dose of the correct medication, she was breathing better and her bark seemed clearer.  This morning was her fifth dose and when I was reading back through the side affects just now, I'm wondering if she is experiencing those instead of slowing dying as it seems.  When I arrived back at my house after being out for several hours there were several places where she had vomited, a place where she had urinated, and she was stumbling around and could barely hold up her own weight.  She managed to make it outside and do some more business but as she came back in the house I noticed she was breathing extremely hard and coughing, shaking, and she was drooling excessively.  My first thought was: this is it.  She can't breath and she's slowly dying.  When she wasn't at all interested in food I knew it was serious.  A common thought with pet owners, in my experience, is if they don't want to eat they are very sick.

I was able to get her to take a few Tramadol which Dr. Cutting and I agreed would be effective in helping her with any pain associated with end of life issues.  I was also able to get her to settle down and she slept for about 6 hours.  She woke up about 12:30 am and attempted to go out to the yard to urinate but she only got as far as the end of the back porch.  After sitting out there for a few minutes, I was able to partially carry her back in and we landed on the kitchen floor where we've stayed for a couple hours now.  She's resting again, but I was unable to get her to take any more Tramadol.

Resting earlier in the week

Being immersed in the pet community for so many years, I know one of the concerns for pet owners is that they don't want their pets to suffer when they're ill or dying.   There is also the thought process of "when the right time" is (to euthanize) which is what I am contemplating at this moment and have been for the past several weeks that her health has declined.  Luckily, we as pet owners do have the choice of euthanasia.

As I've entered this word in a search engine to find an appropriate link to share, there are many results that come up.  I made a mental note to start a resources page to narrow them down, it will be another work in progress.  For now, I'm sitting with my girl and thinking about the inevitable and wondering how the concepts of veterinary social work would apply in this circumstance.